The Perfect Gift Combination for a Hapless Single Man

We all have at least one friend who is totally worthless in the kitchen.  Actually, if you don’t have a friend like that, read on, because I have enough friends who meet that description to share at least one of mine with you.

I probably should tell you in advance that you better be very fond of this friend, because the gift tip I’m going to offer is a bit on the costly side, although worth every penny.  Maybe it’s your son, or nephew, or uncle or your roommate who just refuses to leave.

Give the present of a nice romantic dinner with the person of his own choice–right there in his own home.  When you get right down to it, nothing impresses an unsuspecting date more than an intimate dinner that the host has prepared himself (with your encouragement and careful guidance, of course.  Now, the friend I’m thinking of needs all the help he can get in this regard.  You may need to be very specific when you give him your gift and the instructions to go with it.  Remind him to light candles, choose the music for him and suggest he pick up his dirty socks.

He can begin the evening with the first part of your present, a gourmet cheese for the beginning course  Suggest that he consider serving the cheese with ripe apple slices or pear slices, but only if you trust him to handle a knife.  He can serve this course as a finger food or at the dining table as the formal beginning of the meal.

The meal’s next course should be a gourmet dinner of lobster or perhaps a surf and turf meal, if he is a beef addict.  As noted, this guy needs plenty of help, so the fresher the lobster the better.

Tell him to cap off the evening with a magnificent, New York cheesecake or a turtle cheesecake, if he is a fan of chocolate for dessert.  Whichever cheesecake option you choose, tell him to spruce up the serving with a few fresh berries or a sprig of fresh mint.

You might also recommend a fine wine, if he consumes alcoholic beverages.  Lobster is very hearty fare, so don’t be afraid to suggest he pair it with a bold wine such as a Merlot or even a Burgundy.

Once you’ve done your part in the affair, relax until you receive the engagement announcement.  If you learn that the perfect evening didn’t work, just give up on him, and next time you can enjoy the delicious meal with your own favorite partner.  Oh, you also might want to look for a different friend.

My Favorite Present to Give: Truly Good Food

I am not a great shopping enthusiast! Except around the winter holidays, I hate the parking problems, I don’t enjoy browsing aisle after aisle looking for something that would be just perfect for Grandma or Uncle Arthur. I certainly do not like standing in line with frustrated people waiting for the lone employee to handle yet another exchange. During the holidays, I enjoy strolling through stores simply people watching, without being burdened with packages. The experience for whatever reason gets me into a holiday emotional state, but I do my actual shopping and buying almost entirely online. That’s a practice I developed in the very early years of the Web.

Online shopping didn’t save my life all by itself. Just because I started using the Web before any of my friends, I still had to make the decisions. And then, around five years ago, or so, I discovered food.

That wasn’t very honestly phrased, because I discovered food when I was still an infant. But I didn’t discover food as a gift idea until recently. You see, at that time I received a gift basket full of hardly edible sausages, processed cheese spreads (mostly chemicals I think) and crackers that were about as crunchy as a rock. However, the poor quality of what passed as food in that gift turned out to be my inspiration. “What,” I thought, “If I had received genuinely good food?” How different that would have been, and how much I would have enjoyed it.

Since that moment of momentous insight on my part, I have been a dedicated sampler of a variety of food gifts that I buy for myself on the Internet. (It’s a tough job, but I am up to the challenge as long as I carefully pace myself!) I have found that the online gift food stores handle everything from shipping to the accompanying gift cards. Yes, I actually send myself a gift card to test the store’s dedication to detail. The Internet boutiques are now the sources for all of my gifts, except those gifts of my loved ones who happen to live very nearby.

The wide selection of quality gift foods available is truly remarkable. It ranges from live lobster dinners to a gourmet fruit basket; from cookie bouquets to live lobsters; from wine gift baskets to imported caviar or fine Wisconsin cheeses.

I do keep gift foods around the house, beautifully or cleverly arranged, for my guests who come to my house or for those whom I visit in person during those gift giving times. The Internet provides assistance to me even in these cases, because it is packed full of great ideas for arranging and wrapping gift food.

If you happen to see me strolling a store aisle with a smile on my face when everybody else seems frantic, you will now know my secret. But let’s keep it a secret from my Uncle Arthur.